How to write your wedding vows ?

When planning your wedding ceremony, and especially when it is a secular ceremony, the exchange of vows is often the high point of this moment. To help you see more clearly, we have gathered some tips for you to write the vows of your wedding ceremony.

What is a secular ceremony?

A secular ceremony, sometimes called a commitment ceremony, is a ritual ceremony that celebrates a wedding outside the religious setting. Entirely designed around the couple, the idea is to make it as personal as possible, through texts, interventions and rituals that you have chosen. In recent years, couples opting for the freedom of a secular ceremony are more numerous.

Write a personal text

The easiest way is to stay true to yourself. If you are rather shy, nothing forces you to embark on a fiery declaration in front of all your guests, and if you are the end-of-the-train, there too, do not hesitate to let your personality shine through your wishes. Write a personal text that will resemble you and your story.

Be concise

No need to take too long this time, a few minutes are enough, so no pressure, you do not have to write two pages for your exchange of greetings, some sincere and personal lines will be perfect.

Be sure to take the same direction

To be sure of being on the same wavelength when you share your wishes, do not hesitate to talk about it with your fiancé (e) before the day J. Length of text, style, tone, anecdotes, without everything unveil, check that you are in tune with the tone of your wedding ceremony.

Inhale your personal and shared history

Get inspired by the simplest details of everyday life. Why not write down all your preparations in a notebook, those things that you like, touch you, let you know that he or she will share the rest of your life? There is no doubt that these notes will help you to make your wishes even more meaningful and that it will be a nice souvenir to keep for later, and a precious ally during the most difficult moments, just to remember why you are will be chosen.

Help you with texts

If your wishes are to remain personal, and reflect your personality and your story, you can also help you rely on poems, texts, and other quotes from authors. Of course, do not forget your text of literary references, but do not hesitate to use it as a basis for building your wishes. For example, you can ask married couples around you for advice or ideas about living together.


Once your text is written, do not hesitate to repeat it. Without necessarily knowing it by heart, you will be so reassured, and will be less anxious to the idea to say it in front of your guests, and especially in front of your half. And do not hesitate to keep with you when the time comes, a paper version of your wishes, noted in a nice notebook.

Let yourself be won by emotion

Your commitment, the people come to share your day, your half, maybe you will be won by the emotion. Do not hold it back, and let yourself be carried away by this incredible moment.

They shared their ceremonies on the blog
Keep this memory

Why not keep in memory the memory of this special moment? Keep your wishes in writing, in a souvenir box, or even can be framed in your home …

Finally, and as for every element of a marriage, there is once again nothing fixed or obligatory. You could very well choose not to declare your wishes publicly, and to symbolize this moment by an exchange of your written wishes, in the form of a letter, for example. Or read them alone before the ceremony. And you could also choose to write them together, and read identical texts. The key is to share a moment that suits you.

some questions to help you design your wishes
How did you meet each-other ?
When did you know that you were made to share this adventure?
What values do you share?
What makes it unique?
Did some strong events, or particular events, punctuate your story?
How do you envision your life together, your future?
What everyday details make you love it even more?
What are the pillars of your relationship?
What do you want to share together later?
What promises can you make to him?
how does a secular ceremony take place?
Preamble of the officiant
entry of the groom (s)
introduction or word of welcome
married history
intervention of relatives (reading texts, or storytelling)
rituals (candle, planted tree, blessing of covenants …)
exchange of wishes
exchange of alliances
exit of the groom (s)
Where to find other text ideas

On Pinterest, in Florence Servan-Schreiber’s book “Se marier autrement“, in this article about marriage rituals, and in the book by Anne Delacour and Urielle Baubion, “Cérémonies laïques“, “Les plus beaux textes pour célébrer une union“, Anne Tardy,”Les rituels symboliques, 23 idées pour vous marier autrement“, by Clément Bourgeon …

Links to follow

You will find in this article many tips to help you design your secular ceremony and our Pinterest board dedicated to the ceremonies of many decorating ideas.

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